Forever Mine
Forever Mine
Carrie Noble
Copyright 2016 Carrie Noble
Forever Mine
‘John, love, I’m just popping out.’ Silence.
‘I’m just going to meet a friend.’ Silence.
‘I won’t be long.’
‘That’s a shame. Do us a favour love, take your time.’
Well that was something, at least I got a response this time I thought, as I closed the door to our house, knowing that another day of the same old, same old had begun.
I arrived at the coffee shop first and found a table, hidden away in a corner. I can’t believe how nervous I am. But I have to do it, I can’t pretend anymore. I need to talk to someone.
The last time we met here things had been different. We had been close, best friends, and I had just met John, the man of my dreams.
Back then we had been meeting to discuss my date. Me and John, it had been perfect. We had met at another coffee shop when a rude, impatient youth had pushed past me and knocked my coffee all over me. John had come to my rescue and made sure I was ok. We had started chatting and before he left he had asked me if I would like to go for dinner.
We had enjoyed a beautiful meal. He had been funny, attentive and charming. After the meal he had walked me to his car because he had a present that he wanted to give to me. When we got to the car I couldn’t believe it. It was a BMW and a brand new one at that. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, he produced a beautiful, large basket from the back of his car. Oh my word, he had really been listening. The basket was a beautiful hamper full of Green and Blacks chocolate. He had remembered that I was boycotting other brands of chocolate due to my opposition to their reliance on palm oil. I knew then, at that exact moment that he was perfect and I was going to make sure that he was mine, forever mine.
I wait for her to walk in, nervously watching people coming and going. Before long I have wandered off to my own little world, wrapped up in my own thoughts, so when the barista bangs a tray of cups on the counter top I jump and bang my leg on the table. It is only as I come back to reality that I realise I have been biting my lip and it feels like it is starting to bleed.
‘Hello stranger, how are you?’
She’s here. I can feel the nerves in my stomach starting to fizz. I can’t do it. I feel sick.
‘I was so pleased to get your phone call. Since you met your Prince Charming I’ve hardly seen you.’
I still haven’t spoken. I can’t find the words. Whilst I am thinking of how to respond she asks me what I want to drink and dutifully goes off to order.
When Louise comes back I know that she has sat down and is in the process of telling me all about her journey and what a nightmare it was. Although I think that I am nodding in all the right places, I am not really paying attention. All I can think about is that I need to talk to somebody. All I need to figure out now is where to start.
‘So, tell me then. What’s married life like then. When I think of you and John I imagine it is like a fairy tale. I bet you two are still really in love and making everybody sick. I know that I am still well jealous. I want to find my John.’
‘Oh Louise, be careful what you wish for?’
Oh Michelle, you are such a kidder. So come on then tell me all about your perfect life.’
Life was perfect. Those first few weeks after we met flew by and I couldn’t believe how happy I was and how well things were progressing. We saw each other all the time and never got fed up of each other’s company. Maybe if we could have stayed in that bubble things would be different now, but John’s life was different to mine and it wasn’t long before I was forced to share him with his family.
‘So, tell me then, what are his family like? What is it like being a stepmother, and oh yeah, a step-grandmother?’
‘Oh you know, these things are never straightforward, are they?’
I came from a small family and was happy with that. John though, had 4 sisters, and a close family friend called Jennifer, whom he was very close to. He also had a son Patrick, who with his wife Cara had given John two grandchildren, a three-year-old son, Charlie and a one-year-old daughter, Emily. It was not what I considered ideal. We loved each other and I wanted him to spend all his time with me. He was worth it though. He was perfect.
However, before I had to undergo the horror of meeting the real life ‘Walton’s’ I first had to deal with the ordeal of meeting the other important person in his life. Jennifer.
After two months of just being with each other, John had broached the subject of meeting the woman he loved like a sister. I knew this was important to him so I summoned up as much enthusiasm as I could and went along to meet Jennifer.
Until he met me, Jennifer had probably been the person closest to John. She had been the person he had turned to when his second wife had left him for a man she had met at the gym. As John struggled to cope with the separation from Rachel, Jennifer had been there night after night, either going to his house or listening on the phone as he poured his heart out and confided his worst fears. There was probably very little that Jennifer didn’t know about my John.
When he introduced me to Jennifer she made all the right noises and smiled in all the right places, but I could just tell. She didn’t like me. She was jealous of me. Until now she had had John all to herself and now here I was. No, I knew straight away that she was going to try to come between us. I was going to have to do something to show John exactly what she was like.
Oh yes, she was clever that one. John thought she was being kind and friendly, but I knew. Oh yes, I knew alright. She was a two faced little madam if there ever was one. As clever as she was though, Jennifer had not counted on me. I was on to her and two of us could play that game, and play that game I did. I spent the next couple of months getting closer to her. I listened to her ‘funny stories’, I gave my sympathetic opinions on the latest family feud or rivalry, and all the time I was looking for little nuggets that I could store up and use when the time was right to show John what his precious Jennifer was really like.
Before long, myself, John, Jennifer and her husband Ben looked to the outside world as the best of friends. We went on nights out together, we had dinner a couple of times a week at each other’s houses and we sat together at all of the tedious family gatherings we were forced to endure.
My act must have been convincing because John would keep on telling me how pleased he was that I got on with Jennifer and Ben and that he loved me all the more because of the way that I embraced the important people in his life.
All this time together confirmed what I already knew. Jennifer didn’t like me and given half the chance she would do whatever she could to come between us. Oh, she would be subtle about it, of that I had absolutely no doubt. Nothing overt, nothing to suggest to John that she didn’t like me. Just the odd comment, and then another, letting them build. Whenever we went out she would always order something cheap off the menu. So that’s it I thought. She is going to make me look like some kind of gold digger. She would bide her time and wait for John to confide the slightest doubt about our relationship, then she would be in there. She wouldn’t waste a minute, she would, purely out of concern for his happiness obviously, try to convince him that he would be happier without me, that he could do better than me.
It didn’t take me long to realise the weak spot that I could use to my advantage. Although John loved Jennifer, he was not a big fan of Ben. He found Ben to be obnoxious, belligerent and arrogant. Three traits that he hated in other people. I had thought that people were exaggerating when they talked about Ben, but even I couldn’t believe how quickly he could rub a room full of people up the wrong way and not even seem to care. I knew it would only be a matter of time before
he provided me with the ammunition I needed.
By mid-June I had been spent two months feeding back everything that Ben had said about John or his family to John, and put my own, unique spin on them. ‘Oh John, I couldn’t believe the way that Ben spoke to Charlie and Emily on Sunday,’ or ‘Did you hear what Ben said to Patrick about Charlie’s hair.’ John always made the same excuses, ‘You know what Ben is like,’ but I could see the constant highlight on Ben’s criticisms were wearing John down and the time was right to sort this out once and for all.
After an afternoon in the pub I went back to Jennifer’s with her whilst Ben and John stayed to watch the football. Jennifer had been drinking and let down her guard more than usual. We started talking about holidays,
‘Oh me and Ben haven’t